shady character

he walks and talks all at night
He sleeps and creeps at day
And he's got the nerve to say
"I'm not mean I'm just honest"
From what I see I know what's upon us
He's unbarable, he's never seen a parable
I can't stand his voice but I don't have a choice
How he's constantly a lier
What he touches turns to fire
Wearing glasses a moon time
All his sentences ryme
He's got so many addictions
But for all his depictons
There's just one factor
He's a wonderful actor
Carrying around a parer
He's a shady character.









A VERY first draft.
Anybody got a word that rules with character???

Songs don't always have to rhyme. Maybe it'll flow more if you just think about things, write them down as a story, then create detailed lyrics from that.

Are you talking about yourself? I'm only guessing because of the glasses bit, and your display picture.

thats nice!

I like it. "Blur" rymes with character, so does "her", and "lure", if any of those help.

Writing about yourself? I think its VERY cool. Haha, in a couple weeks you'll probably have an album ready man.

I think this song is going nowhere. i worked on it after i got back from the Y this evening and couldn't think of any way to make it better.

you cant very well force it out sometimes, often it may just come to you randomly

Yeah i agree with that completely though, i thought of it randomly so i feel as if i should be able to better it too.

It's not bad, but just not really there for me. Forced couplets seems like you're straining; thus, the lyrics don't make sense to me.
ie:


Parable as in fictional story told for the purpose of moral teachings? What are you trying to get across? What does this lyric add to the song other than completing a couplet?

I do think that you have a base to work off of. Take a day or two away from this, then come back and revise with a fresh prospective. Doesn't work for everyone, but it helps me. Keep up the hard work.

It is alright. It makes a good rap song.

Seriously it is good but it needs a better intro.

It's supposed to mean that he's never read the bible. Most people thati knok recognize parable as a teaching of jesus, first. the main jist of it is that he''s a bad person.

You, sir, are one of my favorite people now.


BTW: Parable is an Earthly story with a Heavenly meaning.

hahahaahhahahahhahahahaha\

-TAB