The first verse and chorus of a song called

The channel?


I woke up hot then cold
I dont know what i was told
I couldnt turn on the tele set
and the only channel i could get---
was only ominous static
it was facinatingly eratic
No words were ever spoken
it' soul must of been broken
And the only character was nothing
and his angle was troubling
the scene looked very dim
the only thing there, was him.
its a channel full of snow
the flakes have an eary glow


Is this channel alive or
is it just fuzz
Watch and you'll know
what it does
All other channels have been distant
But this one it's been very persistant.




Please any suggestions or dislikes?

First lyrics I've read that are talking about a TV. Your rhyming is good and it links togther well. Keep it up.

I was actually thinking about making it the opening song to a rock opera i've been thinking of making. Because now im just playing a few gigs at parties and ***. but i want to take more of a mature approach to my career.

lol

Give it some time, ask people you know about the lyrics. Do you feel confident showing it to them? why? ask stuff so you're prepared for the future.

See everyone, porno makes your eyes go bad! Take Pat for example, all he can see is snow and static! lol. Jokin'. Cool song dude. VERY original.

hahaaha

I like it, but a few of the rhymes (like the last line) seem a little bit forced. The lyrics remind me a bit of "Fear Of A Blank Planet" by Porcupine Tree. Let us know how it goes.

What genre is it by the way?

this song is sort of a cross between classical and a metal sound.

hmm not exactly a common metal lyrical theme. but its quite interesting

Classical n' metal? I was thinking folk lol. If you put metal style music behind it and then find a good rhythm it should be pretty cool.

actually i mean more of classical chords with metal distortion.

I like it! It does seem like rock too...only for some reason I read it too fast and it became rap, ha! That confuesed me, but I bet that was my fault there.

The song made me think of how people get in a long trance watching TV, these lines mainly:
'Is this channel alive or
is it just fuzz
Watch and you'll know
what it does '

lol. Yeah, thats what I do too Heather. Pat, your songs just rhyme really well that when you read them they turn to rap, and still sound GOOD. lol. How do you do it? haha

hey, i liked it, i played it and already made my own version of the song.lol. whats ur name, so i can say who invented the song when i play it on madison square garden next week.
yep, i liked it

Pat lehamn from wilmington delaware.

the chords go

Dm(whammy) Dm(whammy) Dm(Whammy)
Verses: D D D D4
D D D D2
Chorus: D D D D2 D4
D D D D4 D6

You're not a songwriter - you're a poet.

You're "lyrics" are nice, but I'm just not into them as songs.

dude, i like you. your honest, other people lie and say they like stuff when they really don't think anything of it at all.