workin on some lyrics

"oh, I hate my flaws
and I hate my sins
I hate my HATE
oh, let me shed my skin,
to show the monster that I really am,
so no one else falls for who I am again!

THIS IS WHAT I REALLY AM!
ohh, this is who I really am.."


kinda a Scissors by Slipknot like mood

Theyre really good for a thrashy song. The last line confused me a little but the overall feel of the lyric is Metal.

which part is confusing?

to show the monster that I really am,
so no one else falls for who I am again!

This is confusing -- I don't like having a rhyming scheme, but I would try something almost along the lines of:

Oh, Let me shed my skin,
and let the Monster show his ugly head
because this is who I really am


THIS IS WHAT I REALLY AM!
ohh, this is who I really am.."


Why repeat the line before the last line? If you are going to repeat a line, usually it is a good idea to repeat the last line that is said, because that is what is most remembered.

cuz "because this is who I really am" doesnt fit the timing

and its repeated cuz i said so lol

this song is noway near finished, the "THIS IS WHAT I REALLY AM!" part is the chorus

i can't say i'm impressed. but then, that's what most people your age write nowadays.

okay then, mind telling wut u think this song is about?

it doesn't use a single metaphor or simile, it's about exactly what it says its about. it's completely up front, and it can't really be interpreted in any but one way. it's just, "angst". there's nothing deep or unobvious here.

cuz i dont dance around the point or sugar coat it.. i just say it

Yes, there are no "deep or unobvious" there, but think about the world when we got nothing else, but dudes with colourfull clothes and red shades doin some "deep" and "artistic" or whatelse lyrics of waves of thoughts in sea of mind or some other artsy shit that doesnt mean nothing else but visions in their liquidic minds.

Hate or whatever is better to be expressed in musical way rather than keeping it inside, those too many times leads to suicidial actions.

Cheers!
Empirism

Thats a bit critical baudelaire

I mean, he just gave us one stanza

Dont be hattin

"it doesn't use a single metaphor or simile, it's about exactly what it says its about. it's completely up front, and it can't really be interpreted in any but one way. it's just, "angst". there's nothing deep or unobvious here." - Baud

Really? Good. That's the way metal should be. It's ballsy, up-front, and doesn't give a flip what anyone thinks of it.

it sounds more like whining then anger and rebellion. something a emo band would say, not something slayer or metallica would say.

I like it man, i mean its not my style, i mean im one of those people that uses alot of metaphors and similies and makes my point confusing, but for the style you are going for(im assuming metal, correct me if im wrong) it works perfectly and i like it, and its just TheAmericanBrit said

and hs rightt ahts how it should, baud is just being a asshole, so dont listin to him, i cant wait to hear it once its finished. good job man

i thought it was straight forward baud? its NOT about rebellion or hate @ all.. so either its not quite so easy to understand and/or ur an idiot

Nothing wrong with straight forward.
allow me to quote one of my favorite songs.
"War, what is it good for? Absolutely Nothing"
Edwin Starr
Phip

@baud

"Do unto others as they have done unto you
But what in the hell is this world coming to?
Blow the universe into nothingness
Nuclear warfare shall lay us to rest" - Metallica

"Someone help me
Oh please God help me
They are trying to take it all away
I don't want to die
Time moving slowly
The minutes seem like hours
The final curtain call I see
How true is this?
Just get it over with
If this is true, just let it be
Wakened by the horrid cream
Freed from the frightening dream" - Metallica


You were saying?

those lyrics are legendary. bodoms, are teenage-angstish-wears black all the time-ish.

and bodom, there is no disguised meaning there. don't try to act like you had something totally different in mind when you wrote them. even in the event you did, it doesn't matter. nobody is going to take anything from those lyrics except what is on the surface... a Love song, you could extract 100 different meanings from each verse, and 100 different people all might get a different message. your lyrics, that is not the case.

there is nothing wrong with being up front about things in your lyrics. but, if you take the strong emotion route over the poetic beauty route, you had better make it whatever you aimed at... not merely laughable. you comedies would bring a tear to every eye, and your tragedies would leave not a mouth empty of laughter.

Legendary? lol, Metallica has always sucked.

metallica is the best metal band that has ever existed. bar none. their first 4 albums DEFINE metal; they're the standard people aspire too.

haha well, i do wut i want.. i write wut i feel. people write about stuff that they have never felt or experienced, know wut those people are called? POSERS!

and for the record if i ever get big im gonna start all my interviews off with "..there was once this one guy named baudelaire..."

another HALF of a verse lol.. a lil stuck atm

"Cold and scared, I'm dying to be rid of this
please, go away
I dont deserve this
Lost and ashamed, this is NOT the way"

Maiden, Priest, and Sabbath > Metallica.

bodom, have you ever considered studying etymology? the dissection of words? it's a very good thing to study, because it provides insight on the things we commonly think, that are contrary to reason.

Art, and Artificial. they are not similar by coincidence.

Art is the creation of artificial beauty. self expression is not the be all and end all of artistic work; in fact, it's a lesser aspect. expressing yourself is of no value if what you have to express is not beautiful in some way or another.

people that write about things they neither feel nor have experienced, are the best breed of artist - someone for whom the supernal beauty that all art seeks to express is not something they have found, but something they have always been longing for. a person that has never loved but writes beautiful love songs is a far greater artist then someone who writes love songs from the heart. a person that writes a beautiful song about war, ahemetallica, but has never experienced it, is a greater artist then one who has seen war and writes a song about it... although, in that case, almost nobody does. more on that.

experience, far from being a great palette, is only useful to the artist as a source of impressionistic inspiration. experience is more likely to degrade art then to glorify it. art is inherently idealistic, apart from reality, a straining to realize by sense some sort of supernatural beauty that only humans have a inkling of. a person that has experienced war, probably can't write a song about war. simply because it is far too real, to true, for them to either transcribe a idealistic image of it that would qualify as art, or to take some aspect of it, and display its lines and curves and elegance's in such a way that it thrills you. the ugliness of reality crushes art.

don't write what you feel, that's what diaries are for. write what needs to be written to express the supernatural beauty of what you are trying to grasp, and convey. if that beautiful thing is the reckless lashing out of someone in the throes of complete hatred for themselves, the world, society, and a self destructing frenzy for self, then write about that, not your pitiful little feelings. those feelings might point out some romantic image to you that can be made into art, but they are not the image itself, only a shadow of it.

I personally have found that when writing, to avoid being blunt. The reason is to try and keep the listener listening. add a certin level of mystery to the words.

Every one has a little different technique when writing but I wanted to know that "beating around the bush" is not always a bad thing.

Yeah and metallica did kick ass in the 80's the have some great classic albums and pioneered thrash music.

With all art, there are opinions of art. And with all opinions come people that like certain pieces of art, and people that don't like certain pieces of art.

I personally do not understand rap, hiphop or metal. I have a tendency to make fun of and stand against most of this type of music. However, I appreciate the music that they create.

since when is blunt bad? look at some of slipknots lyrics

"Fuck it all! Fuck this world!
Fuck everything that you stand for!
Don't belong! Don't exist!
Don't give a shit! "

Everybody hates me now so fuck it
blood's on my face and my hands don't know why,I'm not afraid to cry
but that's none of your business
Whose life is it? Get it? see it? feel it? eat it? spin it around
so I can spit in his face
I wanna leave without a trace
get out, I don't want to die in this place

"people=shit
people=shit (what you gonna do)
people=shit ( cuz I'm not afraid of you)
people=shit (I'm everything you'll never be)
people=shit"

these albums went PLATINUM!
but im not gonna curse, cuz im Christian, but it just goes 2 show that blunt = not bad

if u consider ozzy metal then it beats the shit outta every 1 in my opinion.

Sabbath is TRUE metal.

HELL YEAH!

Metallica used to be good.



double HELL YEAH!

I just learned Sabbath Bloody Sabbath, prolly my favorite Sabbath song

ehhh sabbath gets repeditive...no dought the beginning of known metal/hard rock, but very simple, mny songs very just power chords with similar patterns and sounding pentatonic solos. ozzy is way better in my opinion, randy rhoads in my opinion revolutionaized music. allex collins who defined the southern rock guitar sound along with rossington were strict pentatonics. jimmy page also. metal now is mainly arrpegios and maj scales, randy rhoads had this gr8 sound used both scales, different patterns and insane songs and riffs. in my opinion hes the best.

Randy Rhoads is my favorite guitarists, and Black Sabbath is my favorite band

I'm a fan of Zeppelin, but I think of them as more of a Classic Rock band than a Metal Band.

nah zep is hard calassic rock, ozzy is like the old metal, the good stuff, i think new metl sucks.

Totally agree.

lol.. off topic =p

ozzy should have died... not randy. ozzy is cool and all, but he's just a decent singer and lyricist. randy rhoads was revolutionary.

shame on you

neither should die as much as i loooooooove rndy and ozzys voice was almost starting to go in the 80s, ozzy and randy combo is unbeatble in my opinion. completly unique voice with revolutionary guitar.