Some new(b) lyrics

"Life is like a bowl of icecream
Melting away, while you are eating
Already feeling sick, you dont want to finish it
But the sprinkles on top make it look like a thing of beauty
But you know Its a lie
when you lie awake at night.

So bored, so lonely, so tired of it all
Hardly walking now, Ive slowed to a crawl
Will someone please come and help me stand
But stay around, cause Ive got a list of demands
So you can walk away
and know that I understand

I'm a little boy playing with his toy soldiers
I'm going off to war, hear the sound of the mortar
Don't know whats in store, determined, I carry on
Didnt know what I had, until it was dead and gone
So I just stay in bed
Cause I dont know whats ahead"


When I was speculating this, I totally realized how amazing music and poetry is. Like how something can be used as a metaphor for something completely different, I mean Icecream being used to describe a state of depression? Brilliant! (if I may say so myself, I am one of my own toughest critics.)

and yes, I am aware of the horrible cliche in the last verse, thats why i will probably change it..

Enjoyed this one :). (is it bad if I enjoy lyrics that describe depression?) well, it might be cause of state of my mind...

anyway, metaphors are cool, but be careful not to overload your lyrics with 'em, then there are danger that it fall to gategory
"the award of an artistic crap" :P, if you know what I mean. 70's was full of it, when crowds stuffed their heads full of chemicals and thought "cool.. this have a deeper meaning I make a song of it."

This one is in nice balance, not too many. I especially liked

"Will someone please come and help me stand
But stay around, cause Ive got a list of demands
So you can walk away
and know that I understand"

very cool phrase with nice rhyme and i think its easy to arrange.

Great job m8, thumbs up.
Empirism

i really like the first and second verses, good **

That's pretty good BBT. R U gonna put it to music?

@Emp yeah I love metaphors, but i hate it when I cant understand them! its an art in itself, and one i like to think I'm getting pretty good at
I really like that part too, but I also kinda hate it too, because we, (or I, i guess) so often cant just be grateful for someone and have such high expectations instead. "Ive got a list of demands" to me is one of those things that you don't want to be honest about, you're like "oh i dont think like that" but really, you probably do.. "So you can walk away, and know that I understand" is really just saying nobody has to commit themselves, I wouldnt want to help me either.
haha that was long, sorry, i like looking at lyrics and finding out what they mean, even if i wrote them.

@Mosh, yeah its been put to music, the melody is almost identical to the song Breezy by Conor Oberst. whoops =p

@everyone thanks!

Verse 2 & 3 have been switched

Sounds really nice dude. I like it, as so with most of the stuff you've been posting lately. All of it's really thought out, but not over-thought sounding. Like a nice middle-ground that makes whoevers reading comfortable enough to read the whole way through and stay interested the whole time.

Icecream (overeating) and depression go hand in hand. I know cause I've eaten icecream when I was depressed and I've been depressed cause I've eaten too much icecream! It's definitely a great metaphor. What's even more interesting is icecream sounded out is the same as I SCREAM! Depression is anger turned inward. (I know, I overthought it all!) Point is though, your lyrics made me think. Great job!

That was really good! :D

Thanks ^_^ hopefully I will record an album or EP pretty soon, so you can hear all my thoughts and scribbles put to music