Song - A Father's Words

Okay, wow, here it is. Not sure if I will share on FB or not, since I hate my singing. Anyways, here is my first song I have ever written. I imagine the next few songs may be like this, because I want to write songs for my family first, it's kind of a bucket list thing. But after that, I am hoping more for experimental rock and maybe now that I have time to play and practice some, I might delve into progressive. I am rambling now. Anyways, I hope you like this song, it's for my kids. Something they can always have from me. Constructive feedback desired!

Hey Brian,
I like this song! love the solo at 2:40. nicely done. The drum track works (i've never played around with drum simulators). Good lyrics and good guitar work.
the singing..............well, hahaha I guess you know that could use some work and I'm no elvis so take this for what it's worth....
1)ya could get someone else to do the vocals (not recommended) or...
2) Q. how many tracks is this song? You could keep recording vocal tracks until you work out your vocal kinks. (one song i posted here took, i don't know...maybe a zillion takes on the vocals until i got something i could live with). lol
But.....yeah i like the song and i like that you shared it with us.
more please!
Phip

The most important thing about this song Brian is that you wrote it, you played and recorded it YOURSELF! Second, or maybe first, its about your family. I've always wanted to do that! There's nothing more beautiful than that.

I like the lyrics and the progression. The singing could be better like Phip said but you already know that. Also, judging by what I heard, you could sing it better. It will just take practice. Step away from it for a couple months, do something else and get back to it later. I would also consider losing the bass and drums and just sing it with your acoustic. Not that the drums and bass are bad. You did a great job with both. Did you play the drums? If you could sit down with your acoustic and play and sing this song to your family one day, it would be one of those moments in your family life that would never be forgotten.

You've inspired me to do this for my family Brian. Thanks!

Keep up the good work man. Music is a great experience to share with your family.

So, constructive right? Forget it for now... Man, this is great! I can't remember my first song, but I bet you will NEVER forget this. Really, really good job man. I can hear the time you put into this tune. Looking at this as a starting point, I think that you could not have done this better. You've gone and set the bar extremely high for yourself. This was thought-out, executed well and sounded well enough for my ears.

OK, back to the criticism part:

Vox - Nothing needs to be said here, you know what the deal is. I'm no expert on vox, but like Phip said, having someone else sing your words may not be a bad idea for you and it is pretty satisfying.

Rhythm Guitar - Put together nicely. You do need to do some mic tweaking. You are capturing too much high end gain (the "Whining" sound). Try different things with your mic; put a sock over it or a cardboard box. You can also try lying it on a thick carpet. You don't want that trebly noise getting through to the headphones. Try different distances. Mics are tricky business and let me assured you, it will take forever to find that sweet spot.

I'm not an expert, but I've played plenty of mic'd gigs and recorded lots of mic'd jams, so just have some faith and know that there is a way to get the perfect sound from your guitar no matter what mic you are using. It just takes time, patience and experience.

Progression - Sounded good. Great for your first song. You said you want to lean towards progressive rock. I'm thinking Alice in Chains meets Porcupine Tree, either way, the riff was a little generic. But that doesn't have to be a bad thing, music is constant repetition, we just have to try our best to replicate things as tastefully as we can.

Rhythm section - I agree with macandkanga, loose it for this song. The guitars didn't match the intensity or the vibe of the bass and drums - since your guitar is what carried the tune, the bass and drums are secondary and should complement. For me, they added an edgy rock feel to a soulful ballad; not my favorite combo.

But they did sound good alone.

Lead git - Again, good for your first shindig. But, you could have done better here. You clearly showed the technical ability to play a good solo for this song, but your inexperience with composition was glaring. For me, this was your weakest link and NOT because it was bad. But because I KNOW you could have done it better, especially with your resources here on this site alone. I don't know how to say that without sounding like a jerk, but I think you know me better than that.

Mix - Dude. Just, dude... Awesome job. I'm thinking of emailing you the song I'm working on now so you can help me mix it. It is again, generic sounding, but you really have it figured out. Now you just need to put your own stamp on it.

Overall - Man, like I said, great job. You set the bar high and now your next song has got to be great. I think that where you are in life has played a huge role in this composition. And while it seems hard to start so late, I think that you have shown here that maturity and real life emotion will play out to your advantage. After all - honest music is simply a reflection of our inner self. There is no hiding or denying that. And the integrity within you really shined in this song and I think that alone is something to be very proud of.

I have already listened to this tune four times while I am writing all this. I can't wait to here your next one, and the one after that, because I know that you will start to get the hang of it quickly, and it's only a matter of a few songs before you find your ebb and flow.

Keep it up dude!

Rock on!

I believe the song has like 17 tracks or something, but all but 7 are drums. I recorded the vocals last and I saved as a different project file every time I recorded something, so it would be very easy to rerecord the vocals. In fact, I did that like 3-4 times, lol.

I might step away for a while and try to rerecord it, that's a really good idea. I might also think of trying it without bass and drums, that's a pretty good idea. I did not play the drums, but for this song, I did make it a prerequisite that I could play the drums. I grew up playing, that is actually probably my musical strength, but drums are expensive, lol. I am also torn, because I would love an acoustic set, but that is loud, difficult to keep quiet in a nieghborhood setting, and expensive to mic. An electric set makes me sad, but it would be similar in cost (minus the mics) and would be quiet and could be plugged directly into the computer for recording. I may stick to the software though, as it is much cheaper and I am blown away with how good the software can sound. Maybe the drums are a way into the future purchase.

I am glad I inspired you to do this for your family too! Life is too short unfortunately, and this is something I really wanted to do. My kids will always have this song from me, even after I am gone, so they will always remember me. I can't wait to hear your song!

Thanks, that means a lot to me!

Thanks dude!

In the future, I will likely do one of two things related to my voice: Have someone else record vocals or give serious efforts with lessons. I think I'd rather spend my free time working on guitar/bass/piano/drums though.

I have a question about your thoughts on the rhythm guitar recording. I have a thin acoustic, it's not as deep a sound as a typical acoustic. Do you think that could also be part of what you hear? I had a very deep sounding Ibanez and I just didn't like the sound, so I got a thinner body; it's the AEG20E Ibanez model. Anyways, I will definitely mess around with some things as you suggest, those are pretty good ideas. Comments like this are priceless, because I get to learn from things that helped you. I am also using a POS $35 mic, lol. That will be my first upgrade I think. My next probably four tracks will likely be more acoustic based work before I get into the style of music I really want to get into playing.

This progression is pretty generic. I came across it really while just messing around with trying to create different sounding chords, just see what sounded good, various fingerings. Think of the progression for Alice in Chain's "Nutshell". They aren't standard chords for the most part, but they are all around the same area of the neck, so I just messed around with that thought and this is what I got, lol. As you said, this won't really be the sound I go for in most of music going forward though, once I get a short little album finished for my family (I am thinking one song for each of my kids as well and one for my wife). I know I talk about the band HRVRD a lot, but their first album is epic to me and kinda the sound I want to go for. Basically, some sort of sound this my own, but similar to things like as you said Alice in Chains, Porcupine Tree, Tool, HRVRD, Soundgarden (love Matt Cameron's drumwork, he is a big inspiration to me) all mixed together. And I absolutely love like the piano/guitar portions of your song "The Long Road". Honestly, I still listen to this song, especially for this part of it, it's just incredibly beautiful music. And of course the heavier sections are just bad ass, it's like the best of both worlds, lol.

I was surprised you didn't much care for the lead guitar work. I was actually quite proud of that aspect of the song. I think you might overestimate my technical prowess, LOL. And I get what you are saying without coming off as a jerk, I know you better than that dude. Constructive criticism is only meant to help. If people want to improve, especially with music, they need thick skin and not take things personally. What sounded weak to you specifically? You said my inexperience with composition was glaring here, and with this being my first song, it definitely was very glaring, that is true. In fact, I had to research information just to think of how to go about making a solo before writing it, hahaha. Can you expand on this a bit?

Mixing, again, I just researched the **** out of it. You mentioned in your post about people here, and between that and also the wealth of information on the internet, it's not difficult to try and teach ourselves things now and learn from others. I couldn't even think of trying to do something like this in the world 20 years ago. One thing I really thought was cool about mixing I learned on youtube. This may be common knowledge, but I am not sure, since I am so knew to this stuff. Anyways, they mention splitting a track into what is called Stems. This may be a Reaper term, I am not sure. Then you can have essentially duplicate tracks to edit. I could never figure this out yet, so I just tried copying a track which worked for my purpose. I then fanned one track out 95% to the left and 95% to the right. I did that for the acoustic, electric, and drums. I have heard that bass shouldn't be as much, won't sound as good, so I did 75% to each side. Vocals and drums should be centered I heard, so I tried that. What I found after doing this was that I got a much better "stereo" sound. Again, I am not sure if this is common knowledge or not, since I am so knew to all of this, but it's something that really helped me. Feel free to send me a track and I will look into how to take it into Reaper for editing and see what happens!

Thanks for all the comments dude, it means a lot!

Awesome first attempt.I can't wait to hear more. I agree with everyone above so I'll cut the comments to this, your singing reminds me of Robert Earl Keene and I like REK a whole lot. If you've never heard him you can find it on youtube. Again god job and waiting for #2.

All guitars are tricky business when it comes to shape and size, but acoustics even more so. So yes, the size and shape have a definite impact.



Glad to hear it!



Well, first thing that really snagged my attention was your tone. The only thing worse than bad tone, is no tone - and that is what I heard. Second - Clearly, you knew what you wanted to play and it was well thought out, but for whatever reason, your sound lacked confidence and flow. When it comes to soloing, you really have to stick to your guns. Play what you are going to play and forget everything else; otherwise it comes out choppy and disoriented. I don't think I am overestimating you, because technically, you performed the solo quite well, in fact.

So to sum up:

Tone - This is a life long thing. My dad owns an old Fender Deluxe that he has taken apart and rebuilt more times than I can count and he's been fussing, trying to get the perfect tone from that amp since before I was alive.

Confidence - You knew that you couldn't sing very well, yet you pulled it off fantastically without the slightest quivering, but your guitar solo sounded like a virgin on the first date. Albeit a good-looking virgin, slicked back hair and all..., I'll give you that much. :)



I do that a lot as well. I'm a huge Phil Spector fan, so naturally duplication and splitting tracks is a big part of what I do and he has been my biggest influence on the production side of things.

Nice easylistening stuff. Song have good mood and that got my attention right away and the drums work like charm imo, good work there.

I leave all the technical and a like stuff a side, you sure know where are the weak spots and get better tips for improving them... but... CHEERS! and wrote more :)

-Emp

I have some serious studying and researching to do here, because I am not sure how to improve this other than improve my picking more than anything. Thinking about this post, I tried to imagine someone like Petrucci picking up my guitar. He'd make a low-end Epiphone sound amazing. I could pick up a $3,000 Gibson and it's still likely sound like **. LOL Obviously it is not fair to compare myself to Petrucci, but I can't help but think that picking might have a lot to do with my lack of tone. Could be a lot more, I have a lot to learn. Good thing learning is fun.



Damn, I am hot! lol



Thanks Emp!!