CaseyJones |
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Joined: 01 Jun 2008 United States Karma
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alrite here is a song i wrote through out this week, id like to think it is good but i want opinions, it has alot of themes, it deals with divorce, ant-war, and alot of things, so some people give me feedback
"The Kids Are Alright"
Every day, we get one step closer to the dark side of the moon,
Eventually we might get there
Every day, we get just a bit closer so the sun can hit us in the face,
Some day we might make it there
Every day, Mommy talks to daddy all alone
Is it time for me to go home?
Are the kids ok?
Are the kids alright?
I dont know about you, but im not sure the kids are ok, but im sure that they will be alright
The kids are alright
The kids are alright
Every day, the gunshots fire at the innocent little souls,
Will it ever go away?
Every day, the black bird flys from its nest to the skys above
What does it find up there?
Is it something to beware
Are the kids ok?
I dont know about you, but im not sure the kids are ok, but im sure that they will be alright
The kids are alright
The kids are alright
Every day, we get closer to the dark side of the moon,
Eventually we'll get there
I dont know about you, but im not sure the kids are ok, but im sure that they will be alright
The kids are alright
The kids are alright
Every day, the gunshots fire at the innocent little souls
Will it ever go away?
Every day, i walk down the long road out of eden
In hopes i might find a friend
I dont know about you, but im not sure the kids are ok, but im sure that they will be alright
The kids are alright
The kids are alright
The kids are alright |
EMB5490 |
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Joined: 10 Feb 2008 United States Lessons: 1 Licks: 1 Karma: 31
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big pink floyd fan eh? |
CaseyJones |
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Joined: 01 Jun 2008 United States Karma
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yea big fan, with a little of The Who thrown in there |
telecrater |
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Joined: 13 Jan 2008 United States Lessons: 8 Karma: 13
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Yeah i was thinking at first that maybe you should change the title or something. Then i though what a great way to continue off of the who's tune some 20-30 years later. |
CaseyJones |
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Joined: 01 Jun 2008 United States Karma
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yea thats where i got the idea, cause i had a who sticker on my guitar case that said the kids are alright, and i was thinking about all the trouble goin on in my life and the world and put it together |
Skold |
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Joined: 14 Mar 2008 United States Karma: 3
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Yeah, someones a Who/Floyd fan. |
CaseyJones |
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Joined: 01 Jun 2008 United States Karma
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yea i am, but is it in any way good |
Doz |
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Joined: way back United Kingdom Karma: 10
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I don't know. I don't think a song with those lyrics could acheive much because they'd just be seen as plagiarism rather than major influence. |
telecrater |
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Joined: 13 Jan 2008 United States Lessons: 8 Karma: 13
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so, have you any music for it? I'm wondering if it sounds like the who, or is it completely original?
Off the subject, I loved the way the Who layered acoutic guitars with electric. sounds so great! |
CaseyJones |
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Joined: 01 Jun 2008 United States Karma
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see i draw alot of influence from stuff that has already been done, i dont plagarize just cause i dont think thats right, but i love the themes that past bands use, and i look like they wrote those songs as a piece of clay, and that they are open for people to use that clay to mold their own sculpture.and plus its kind of a revival of the really good days for music.
i do have some music for it, i dont know how good the music really is i mean ive only been playing for like 3 monthes but ive been writing forever.
teh main riff is(capo 1) Bm, G, D, A, Bm, its ok when you use the strumming patter
i agree i love how they layre the acoustic that is one thing i like to do when i write, just cause i think it adds an extra crisp sound |
goatrider |
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Joined: 07 Jul 2008 United States Karma
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Lyrics are hard to be influenced by without actually using them in your own lyrics. I do like the words, very different. But, what themes and ideas are in your own life? collect yourself and put it on the page!
goatrider- |
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