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some of my older short writings

23 Dec 2008 00:28 | Quote
Joined: 27 May 2008
Lessons: 2
Licks: 1
Karma: 25
The Mirror
"Look in the Mirror,
See your Twisted reflection.
Look in the Mirror,
You can't see past you own deception.
Look in the Mirror,
Stare deep into your eyes.
Look in the Mirror,
You see Nothing but your Lies."

Untitled A
"Tears flow to rivers,
Rivers to oceans.
I no longer see,
anything but agony.
Skin begins to tear away,
The knife gets duller every day.
I cant understand
Why you leave me in this quicksand,
Why you keep letting go.
I reach out for you,
My hand passes right through,
I was just so sure I saw you there.
My eyes are playing tricks on me,
I admit, I am going crazy."

Untitled B
"I'm in a windowless room,
I'm Screaming and Crying.
Where are you now?
I'm Living, but Dying.
I want to get out.
I'm so Lost without you,
But Lost within you.
Without you, I feel like I'm Dying,
With you, my Soul is crying.

Magic Words
"Towards the end
I cut myself again and again.
Every day wanting to wake up dead
I seemed so impossible to save,
when the only thing I needed you to say,
was 'I love you too!'"

Untitled C
"Im going down cause theres no other way to go.
Ive fought everyday, With nothing to show.
My soul is drowning in Ice and Snow.
Im going down, Im on my way.
Wailing in pain, Im so afraid.
Take Me away"

"Falling, Into The Abyss,
Nothing Hurt Like This,
Nothing... Nothing Like This.

Falling, Into Your Arms,
I Felt All The Pain Was Gone,
Now... Now That You're Gone.

Falling... Into Eternity,
Without You... Here Beside Me."
23 Dec 2008 08:01 | Quote
Joined: 05 Dec 2008
United States
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Karma: 8
not to shabby. Not to shabby at all
23 Dec 2008 15:19 | Quote
Joined: 27 May 2008
Lessons: 2
Licks: 1
Karma: 25
haha thanks.. oh and im not emo...

heres another one i forgot

Illusion of Independence
"I reach out into the darkness
I cannot find your hand
Take me before I stumble and fall.
I need you forever,
more and more,
ever growing...
Tears flow from my swollen eyes,
Your nonexistence pounding on my face.
I wont let you let me fall,
I'm fully dependent.
You won't,
You can't.
Cause I'm fully dependent,
I'll see that you see me on till the end."
23 Dec 2008 16:01 | Quote
Joined: 28 Aug 2008
United Kingdom
Lessons: 24
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The last one sounds like a threat. Pretty freaky.

Untitled A reminds me of Jarhead when he started seeing his girlfriend and losing his mind.
23 Dec 2008 18:56 | Quote
Joined: 27 May 2008
Lessons: 2
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Karma: 25
haha i never meant it to be a threat
24 Dec 2008 01:16 | Quote
Joined: 14 Jul 2008
United States
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Overall, I'd say I'm a fan. "mirror" and "falling" both seem like they could evolve to choruses. Are you planning to revise/build upon any of these or are you thinking of keeping them short?
24 Dec 2008 01:20 | Quote
Joined: 27 May 2008
Lessons: 2
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Karma: 25
yeah those are my 2 favorites, i have music to Falling. ill probly go back to that one sometime. the others, i may or may not.
24 Dec 2008 05:07 | Quote
Joined: 03 Sep 2008
United States
Karma: 1
Sounds kind of emo (in a bad way).

Just sounds like stuff I've heard from Emo's over and over again.

24 Dec 2008 14:40 | Quote
Joined: 27 May 2008
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Karma: 25
yeah i know. but im not emo =p

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