Here's some new lyrics I just wrote

You fly to closely to the sun.
You're unlike most everyone.
You sing the things that are real to you.
You do what no one else will do.

You love the rain drops of the clouds.
You find your joy in things unfound.
You see the things they never see.
Yourself is all you try to be.
----------------------------

It's just the verse, but I should have the rest of it out pretty soon. The rhythm of the song matches that of "Time to take out the trash" by Brad Sucks.

So, what do yer think?

Sounds pretty good. Post the rest of it soon though so we can see it!

'You see things they they never see' a nod to Oasis?

Well he does like Oasis... :P

What? NO!.................You and I are gonna live forever!

Haha, yeah, it wasn't intentional though. It's just something that I felt due to the fact that people generally NEVER see what I see. It's like, you can try and show them the beauty in something (mainly music, for me), but they're just too blind to see.


You know, now that I look at the lyrics, that's not the only "nod" to Oasis. Read the very last line of the verse. Sounds like "You need to be yourself....You can't be no one else", eh?

That one isn't really that similar...

Yeah, I know. It's kinda like saying "You were born march 15? Oh my God, I was born july 5th! What a coincidence!".

Here's the pre-chorus

-----------------------

Yet you don't seem to care.
You don't seem to see.
You'll never know what's behind the door.

You don't got friends, so you sing to yourself. You do...in your lonely room.
-----------------------

too many "you"... anyway, good job

Yeah soy has a point, there is too many "you"
Maybe try editing that and changing you to another word that can describe it or just something completely diff.

Yeah, I agree actually, plus...the last line of the pre-chorus sounds a bit awkward.

yeah i agree

I went with an idea EMB (I think) posted about how he liked lyrics with the first word repeated for each line. The pre-chorus is just some shite off the top of my head, so it WILL be changed.

Plus, it should be "You don't HAVE friends" lol
Proper English. :P

And well just cause someone else says they like certain things in a song doesn't mean you have to go and make a song like that cause THEY like it. Maybe if 10 people were asked, only one would say they like it. So the song wouldn't be a hit. Just sayin'
Constructive Criticism

@GB

Well put, sir.

and the voices on the street say that up is down
while the voices in your head make their very own sound
and you never learned a bit of truth
from the voices on the street

idea for the chorus?
phip

It could work. The chorus is basically just lifted from the verse "Woman is the n***** of the world" by John Lennon.


Note: I'm talking about the chords, not the lyrics.

John Who?
LOL

John Lennon.....You know....that guy who use to be in that band?

Yeahhhh!
From Deep Purple!
I remember that!

*sarcasm*

Yeah, and that black bass player! What was his name?.....Hen dicks?